In light of DebtKid’s recent post about his bad purchase, he has asked for others.

While mine doesn’t top the list, it is still rather embarrassing. However, I’ll disclose it simply because I see it as a lesson in itself.

When I was in High School, like most kids, I was dying for my own car. The family’s station wagon would simply not do. Unfortunately for me, I also happened to be working that summer at an Auto Parts store. Well only so many stories about old guys driving 60’s muscle cars would satisfy me. I had a need for speed.

So I spent a few weeks pouring through the classifieds, in search of something with some decent power. They say there are 3 things you want in a car, but can only have 2. Fast, Cheap, Reliable. For example, A Ferrari is fast and reliable but not cheap. A Focus is reliable and cheap, but not fast (no matter the amount of stickers). You get the point. Being naturally stingy, I didn’t want to save up a lot for a car. I wanted fast and cheap. Reliability was not very important to me.

$750 took the car. A 1984 Pontiac Trans Am (A fancified Firebird). It had a 305 V8 with a 4 barrel carb and a 5 speed transmission. It was all mine. It had T-Tops, and the driver’s side window didn’t roll down, but that didn’t matter. I could get the big Aviator glasses and make Tom Cruise blush to the Metallica as I drove to the gas station.

Since reliability was not an initial factor to me, it quickly became one. The first time I drove it more than 20 minutes at speed, it overheated on me. So that means the radiator is broken, right? Replaced that. Still overheated at speed. Found out a 3 inch $3 dollar piece of plastic would prevent that (Firebirds have no grill, so air has to be forced up into the radiator to prevent overheating at speed. These pieces of plastic can also be torn off going over speed bumps).

So what all was replaced on this bird? Whatever was replaced was usually upgraded with better than stock aftermarket performance parts. We’re talking top $ on these. Hurst Short shift, hi-performance clutch, new starter, new carburetor (the old one would stick wide open and would full-throttle the engine at odd times) which of course had to be a Holley 4 barrel. New Battery and Alternator, New water pump, new washer fluid and coolant overflow buckets (if you’ve seen them in old GM V8 engine bays, you’d understand), and finally a new engine.

Yes a new engine. New as in not rebuilt. I came upon a windfall senior year of high school and decided to drop in a newer (and therefore more reliable) engine. It also happened to be a 350. So I attached as many performance parts to it, without taking it apart and voiding the warranty (in hindsight I should have done new pistons and camshaft for more power, which I’m glad now that I didn’t). So after a month of replacing the old 305, I had a boss new engine. Only problem was the transmission wasn’t up to the task. So after a year that died. The answer? Put a new transmission, of course. At that point I was so fed up with its shenanigans at that point, I called it quits. The car sat in the driveway for the next 3.5 years. I finally sold it to a guy looking to restore it for $800.

So what did I learn? Well a car isn’t worth making go fast. Especially with gas at over $3 a gallon. Even then, sinking money into a car for performance not only makes it less reliable, but also helps to depreciate what value there was even further. Fortunately for me the value of the car was already bottomed out. Unfortunately I kept sinking money into that ship hoping it would become a hot rod.

Now It’s A to B with reliability as the focus. Hopefully this story didn’t sound like anyone you know.